Fear

Published on 13 June 2023 at 18:17

 

 

 

I feel my temperature rising fast. My face gets hot and I feel uncomfortable. I look away, I look down but I can't help but look back. I ask you to go away to stop talking. I move to walk away and you stand on my path. I tell you again that we can talk about it another moment. My hands started to sweat, I open and close them. I look away again and beg you to stop and give me a moment and we can talk about it again. I just need a moment. It is not that I don't have anything to say, it is not that it doesn't matter but I just need a moment. My vision gets blurry and my eyes wet. I know what's happening but you won't stop. It doesn't matter what I say or how many times I try to get away from you, you simply won't be quiet for a moment, just a moment. I feel myself shaking and I know what has happened. My defenses go into full alert. I don't see you anymore. I see only a person that won't stop hurting me no matter how many times I ask to stop. I am not asking anymore. The feeling of fight or flight engage and what you say doesn't matter anymore. What comes out of your mouth loses all meaning. I'm not shaking because I'm afraid of you, I'm shaking because I'm afraid of myself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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