Simple Things, Is War

Published on 6 June 2023 at 15:30

 

 

I try to look into your eyes but I can't. I take a deep breath and try again. When I look at you I freeze. Is not something you said, is not anything you did, is me. I try to look inwards for strength and open my mouth to talk and nothing comes out. I know the words, they are right there, why don't they come out.  

 

I take a moment to remember that practice I did on my mind on my way here. I feel my resolve and the words come out. Only they came out as a mumble or was it a stutter? I don't remember what I just said. 

 

I can see the confusion in your eyes. You open your mouth to say something but I stop you. I have to be able to ask something simple. Why do I have to wake up like this sometimes. I miss my old self at times like this. My confidence was true and unwavering, now it is half there if that. 

 

Should I leave? Should I try again? Do I need this that bad? What should I do? I look at my feet like they have the answer but feel myself resigned at the fact that I needed to do this. I look up at the man and I say, "Can I have a #2 with medium root beer to go". 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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