Contradiction

Published on 6 May 2023 at 03:39

       There is a constant struggle in my soul. Go left! Go right! Keep going! Stop! Too much! Too little! Always a struggle. I crave balance. Always looking for that balance between showing what I feel without showing too much. How do I decide? What should I do? Where should I go? Do I care? Do I care too much? Should I try again? Am I trying too hard? Am I doing enough? I don't want to be with you. All I need is you. Should I stay? Should I go? I need my space. Please don't leave me. Should I look? I don't think I should look. Should I let my guard down? I can't. I would die for you. I live for myself. I want to touch you. Don't touch me. I'm happy when I'm alone. I'm happy when I am not. Should I explain it better? I should stay quiet. Should I go out? Should I stay home? Do I need this? I don't.  Do I want it? I don't. Should I look for you? I probably shouldn't. Do I need more? Maybe I have too much. Always a struggle. I am at peace. I am on fire. Should I rest? Should I run? Should I look for you? Should I give you space? Should I tell you how I feel? Maybe not. Am I be being cold? Maybe a smile is enough. Should I flirt? Probably not. You are my storm. You are my peace. Always a struggle, always a contradiction. 

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