Leyda: My Knight

Published on 8 July 2023 at 01:54



Some people always see you. Their is no need for mask and pretense. They know your heart, do not pity you and accept you how you are. 

I was not ready to write about this part of my family but I guess now is as good as ever. Leyda passed away after a fall three days ago. Acceptance is not an issue for me any longer. My lovely awesome cousin is gone and I will never see her beautiful smile again. At this point around 85% of my immediate family is dead. It is what it is.

I'm puertorrican and have many cousins. I have met a lot of them through the years. Like any other family some are closer than others. When I was growing up everyone was older or a lot younger than me.

I spent a lot of time with my cousins Leyda, Brenda, Eric and Carlos on my mom's side. Then with Brenda's older kids and the same with Eric and Carlos. They all guided me and I learned much from them.

Brenda and Leyda were like twins, always together and could tell what the other was thinking. They were the true sister goals. Even when they argued and had huge disagreements at the end the sisterhood always won. I learned what having a sister meant from them.

As I write this I can't help but to be angry. I'm so angry that she is gone now that she was finally enjoying her life free of burdens that others caused on her life. Angry because she was finally comfortable enough with her own personal stuff and was finally enjoying it. I'm angry because she was taken away too young.

I remember meeting them at the same time. I remember how warm it felt being around Leyda. Brenda did my first eye exam. Leyda my first glasses. She also explained what I have with a drawing so I would understand. She was the one who taught me how to turn on a shift car. Leyda would tell me things honestly when others wouldn't. She also had no problem calling me out if I was acting crazy or something.


They came to my home almost every weekend and we also spent many holidays together. Even when Brenda got busy with her own family, Leyda would still come around. We shared a love for the Beatles. When my mom was in the hospital she was the only family member that gave me support. She would stay with mom while I got some rest. She was present every day.


Anyone that knows me long enough knows that I don't call people all the time. That I could be talking to people almost every day until one day I just drop off the map. I made it a point to call her every four or five months. I went through some things and took longer than that and it was time to call her this week. I never got the opportunity.


I can't dig deep for my memories with her. Maybe in a year or two I'll write this again.