Losing Yourself / Game Over

Published on 2 July 2023 at 00:42



People that will take their own live do not announce it. They don't call people crying and tell them they will do it. When you consider taking your own life you feel calm. You consider if you want to say goodbye to anyone. You think of how you want to die. Most people don't want to feel pain, others just want it to be fast. Some people think about it over time until one day they simply do it. When someone is thinking of taking their own life is because they are feeling life drowning them, is like you can't breath without it hurting. 


When I tried to kill myself I did so with pills. I couldn't breathe anymore. I saw how I was losing what I had. I felt that life was more difficult that it was worth. I did not feel sad or emotional. I just felt tired. Tired of not being seen, tired of people leaving, tired of people treating me like I didn't exited. Tired of the bullies. Yes I was simply tired. I wrote a letter, went to my mom's medicine cabinet and took a bottle of her pain medicine which were narcotics. I took around 12 pills. 


I was 14 at the time. Because of my strange metabolism I slept for almost a week. I remember my mom waking me up and giving me soup. I remember hearing the doctor calling my name and a strange sensation on my chest. After that I had my first psychiatrist visit. Obviously I have grown and I have a huge respect for life and I enjoy it the best I can. In 2016 I went through my lowest moment and that was never a thought I had. Besides I'm not just living for myself.
















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