Amneris: My Balance

Published on 22 May 2023 at 23:34

 


Some people enter your life like storms. This storm hurt.... A lot.

 

At this moment there are two people in existence that truly know my heart and mind. Amneris is one of them. Going by the Buddhist believes that we are reborn. I think she is one of my soul mates. A friend that is always there to bring me balance in every lifetime. I have no doubt that she will be a part of my life until the day I die. If not I will hunt her... Just saying.

 

When we talk I don't have to worry about her thinking I have an agenda behind my words. I don't worry about her getting offended because she knows what i say is either by concern or because I'm just offering perspective. She listens to my advice and actually reflects on it and comes back and tells me if she agrees or not. We can agree to disagree and continue speaking without any anger. She tells me directly when I'm over thinking or doing too much or too little. When we talk I never get anxious and always lose track of time. She is also the only person I will answer the phone when I’m under the complete effect of sleeping medications.

 

I have not slept well in months but I really wanted to write about her. I will make it short. We met in the second grade. She was my bully from day one. She pulled my hair, his my things, threw away my things, called me many names, tried to humiliate me by many means possible, made fun of my appearance and weight that I gained because of stress eating.

 

Sometimes I would throw things on her hair to make it bounce and have others laugh about her instead. One time I snapped and started slapping her and we'll from there on we spent a LOT of time in the social worker and principals office.

 

After secondary we had both changed and at that point we both had mended rifts and she learned about my reputation and I about hers. For an island to have connections with others especially the ones that owed you debts was a big thing around that time. And secrets, we knew so many from so many. People knew that whatever they told us would not leave our mouth. We knew secrets from people that hated each other. We always said things without sugar coating no matter who it was.

 

By high-school we had mutual respect and we were friends. At some point she apologized about her stupid shit from the past. We started talking about real things that were going on in our lives and how we were just riding it out until we could do our move. We shared our lives hopes. I won't say dreams because we both had issues sticking to one thing until the last moment. To this day I still forget what her college major is.

 

Our lives have always been a bit parallel. Absent father for periods of times, hard working mothers, mothers going through bad breakups, we started dating before most of the girls our age. We considered moving together for college but decided against it because we both have very strong personalities and our friendship for me mattered more.

 

We would hang out sometimes at her house and have lunch and watch TV. One day out of nowhere she just casually mentioned that she was not just into boys but also into girls. I remember asking her what I would have with any other type of confession. I asked her what she wanted me to do with it. We both laughed because. I can go on trying to explain my comment but as teens it was an inside joke about laziness. Crazy shit is she never spoke about it again and when I mentioned she was telling me before everyone else she told me she didn't remember but it was possible. At that age our bonds and trust ran deep.

 

For a few months in my first year of college I was very broke. Even with my job I had other economical responsibilities. She fed me for a month. I will never forget that. One day she called me to give me the news that she was going to culinary school now that college was done. She told me she applied to one of the most prestigious culinary schools in America. I started laughing and told her I had done the same. We laughed. We both got accepted after the difficult interviews we had to go through. She went there but I decided to stay closer to my elderly mother and go to another culinary school.

 

Speeding up, we had a car accident together (another story) she strapped me to help me get a grip. It worked!! I went to her wedding and i was very depressed at the time and in total denial. But I went and remember sitting with her mom telling her that I did not like her groom and that I was sad that she would have to go through a divorce. He was not a bad man, he simply did not see her. My dear friend is a dreamer, she loves trying new things, she loves hard, she supports those she loves, she loves to see new places. He was none of these things. I was happy when she got divorced. Yes she knows all of this. We have no secrets. And whatever we have is not on purpose or things that matter.

 

Amneris and I had to grow up fast. We had to deal with adult things at a very young age. This made us take our life first like a storm and then suddenly stop to then take off again at an enjoyable pace. Our lives are not the same but as I said our lives have always been parallel.

 

Amneris is in a very happy place now and she is dreaming again. It brings me joy to hear her so at peace. We have been there in each other's lives from the age of seven. We have changed together, we have changed apart but those bonds have never wavered. We talk about anything and everything. I would cross the planet if she needed me and she would do the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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